Well its been a little over a month since I did my last blog. I really wasn't sure if I wanted to keep doing it, but felt I had stuff to say for this one so I decided to give it another shot. During the month of silence, there were some changes made. I feel better with the knowledge I have gained. Its always a learning process!!
I have officially come to the conclusion that I am a food addict. This is definitely something I think I was in denial over. Like most addicts I thought I had everything under control. I would always start off my week well and then a day or two into the new week, I would crave something sweet. I might get a bag of m&m's or a mcflurry or something. Well that "small" little decision would cause me to relax a little more each day during the week until by the end of the week I am getting Wendy's or something. Just like the saying goes "give them an inch and they will take a mile." That is exactly what I did. After repeating this pattern for a few weeks, I realized that I need to be extremely careful when it comes to the sweet stuff because it leads to more bad stuff. I am really trying to cut down on my sweet intake, but sometimes I do decide to indulge. Hey I am not perfect! I am being super careful though. Like Jeremy said its a slippery slope. Especially when I eat a lot of sweets and still lose for the week. I just got lucky thats all and I certainly can't do that every week. No complacency here!
Ihe biggest thing that happened while I was away was the fact that I quit Weight Watchers. I have been on Weight Watchers since 2008. I did have good success at first, but I felt like I just was going in a circle. Since I am such a fan of Jillian, I decided to join her weight loss program. Unlike Weight Watchers, who focuses on carbs, fat, protein, and fiber, Jillian is all about calories. She looks at what you weigh, your activity level, and how much you want to lose. Then with some mathematical equations, she figures at how many calories you need to eat a day. It was a little confusing at first, but I got the hang of it now. One thing that is really interesting is the meal plan her website gives you. It looks at the way you convert food into energy. After answering 5 pages of questions, it turns out I am a balanced oxidizer. That means I need an equal amount of proteins, fats, and carbs. So far so good with keeping a good balance going.
The next change that stems from the Jillian switch, is her podcasts. I have been listening to these podcasts only for a few days now and have learned so much already. My important thing I learned is that I should be eating 3 meals and 1 snack a day. This basically breaks down to eating every 4 hrs. Still getting used to eating lunch at 11am and dinner at 7pm. Very against the grain for me. Also thanks to her podcasts, I went out and got a heart monitor to see how many calories I burn. I feel the more tools and information available to me, the better. And I also thanks to her podcasts, I know this will bother some, is I bought some of her supplements. This isn't done to make me lose the weight over night. It is done to just give me a little boost. Instead of losing 2lbs a week, I am hoping this can help me lose 3lbs a week. Rest assured if there are any side effects, which I haven't heard of any, I will quit them. See you next week!
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Thank you Easter Bunny!
Well I have to say all my hard work paid off. I busted my butt working out and managed to lose 2.4lbs in one week. It was exhausting, especially working out both Saturday and Sunday nights at 8pm. Now I just hope I can stay on track to lose 5lbs by May 14th. I need to average 5lbs a month to reach my goal by November 14th. After this week's loss, I am very positive that I can make it or come pretty close to it.
I have to say I was pretty pleased with the Easter dinner spread. I am lucky that I only had to cook for 4 people. I did make a bunch extra to feed Jeremy and myself for the week though. The cooking was the easy part, it was finding the nutritional value and serving size on the recipes that was the hardest. I spent hours researching the whole thing and met resistance from people not wanting to change from traditional ham. Of course after they tried everything, they realized how silly they were.
The total meal consisted of seasoned pork tenderloin, parmesan mashed potatoes, roasted asparagus, roasted carrots, and reduced fat crescent rolls. The pork was the best and where I had the most trouble. I first forgot to marinate the pork for 2hrs. So our normal lunch time Easter dinner, actually became a dinner time Easter dinner. Then I had trouble cooking the pork. Broil for 6 minutes on each side. Ok I can do that, but on hi or low. Well lets put it on high. "Sniff"...whats that smell. Oh thats the pan roasting. Stupid aluminum cooking sheets. So then I freak out and put it on low. Not good. It ended up being a little rare and had to go back in the oven for some time. My second favorite, of the dinner, was the mashed potatoes. Super easy make. Maybe a little dry, but lots of flavor. The asparagus was great and I am not a huge fan of asparagus, but still enjoyed it. The carrots were a little undercooked and the rolls got a little over cooked. Oh well, its my first time. This also was the first time in forty five years that my mom hasn't hosted Easter. Is that what I have to look forward to? Anyways here is the end results of all my hard work.
Now for dessert. If you know me at all, you know I take dessert very seriously. Very really do I skip dessert. Maybe thats my problem. I made chocolate brownie cake and made the icing. Chocolate brownie cake needs vanilla ice cream, of course. I was going to go with frozen yogurt, but decided to get slow churned instead. Toppings included strawberries and fat free cool whip. Can I just say, YUMMYY!!!!
Well I definitely had a great Easter. The food was awesome. The weather wasn't great, but still managed to get it two walks. The Celtics swept the Knicks and I got to see my dad do jumping jacks. Now that was something I was I had on video. Too funny! See you next week.
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| Mom, Dad (still chewing a carrot), and Jeremy |
I have to say I was pretty pleased with the Easter dinner spread. I am lucky that I only had to cook for 4 people. I did make a bunch extra to feed Jeremy and myself for the week though. The cooking was the easy part, it was finding the nutritional value and serving size on the recipes that was the hardest. I spent hours researching the whole thing and met resistance from people not wanting to change from traditional ham. Of course after they tried everything, they realized how silly they were.
The total meal consisted of seasoned pork tenderloin, parmesan mashed potatoes, roasted asparagus, roasted carrots, and reduced fat crescent rolls. The pork was the best and where I had the most trouble. I first forgot to marinate the pork for 2hrs. So our normal lunch time Easter dinner, actually became a dinner time Easter dinner. Then I had trouble cooking the pork. Broil for 6 minutes on each side. Ok I can do that, but on hi or low. Well lets put it on high. "Sniff"...whats that smell. Oh thats the pan roasting. Stupid aluminum cooking sheets. So then I freak out and put it on low. Not good. It ended up being a little rare and had to go back in the oven for some time. My second favorite, of the dinner, was the mashed potatoes. Super easy make. Maybe a little dry, but lots of flavor. The asparagus was great and I am not a huge fan of asparagus, but still enjoyed it. The carrots were a little undercooked and the rolls got a little over cooked. Oh well, its my first time. This also was the first time in forty five years that my mom hasn't hosted Easter. Is that what I have to look forward to? Anyways here is the end results of all my hard work.
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| Dad's plate definitely was the best display |
Now for dessert. If you know me at all, you know I take dessert very seriously. Very really do I skip dessert. Maybe thats my problem. I made chocolate brownie cake and made the icing. Chocolate brownie cake needs vanilla ice cream, of course. I was going to go with frozen yogurt, but decided to get slow churned instead. Toppings included strawberries and fat free cool whip. Can I just say, YUMMYY!!!!
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| My plate of course |
Monday, April 18, 2011
I'm not where I want to be, but I'm glad I'm not where I use to be
A little disappointing weigh in this morning. Only lost .4lbs. I was really hoping for more. Thought I was doing pretty well before the weekend, so I figured I could ease up a little and still be have a good loss. Wrong!!!!!!!!! This morning I was all ready to give up and just admit defeat. Then I realized I am not ready to give up just yet. I went to my Weight Watchers Community for help again. Someone had written the quote (in the title) on a Weight Watchers message board and I thought it was perfect for my photo montage. Not many pictures were allowed to be taken during my heavy period, but you get the idea. I was pretty big. Definitely glad I am not where I used to be.
PS: Stay tuned for next week's blog on the healthy Easter dinner I am making for my family. Its our first time hosting Easter! Its a practice for our first hosting of Thanksgiving this year.
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| Cameron and I before heading to Red Rocks for the day in June 2008. I believe I was wearing 2x's at this point. My poor mother had to go clothes shopping with me before this trip. |
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| Rachael and I walking through Red Rocks. The camera adds 70lbs right? lol |
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| Rachael and Matt's Wedding in June 2008. This was me at my heaviest. I was about 200lbs and was in lots of discomfort from my back problem. Looks like I was on pain meds in these wedding photos. lol |
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| The first dress I first got didn't fit (too small). I had to rush and rush to find a matching one that would hold me. |
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| The Best Man, Doug & me, the maid of honor. Not a bad picture when I am hiding behind flowers & another person. |
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| Jeremy, Lauren, Jay, Kris, and Me at the Newton's in Oct 2008 |
Monday, April 11, 2011
think like a thin person
The title is from the book I just started reading called The Beck Diet Solution: Train your brain to think like a thin person. This book was suggested by someone on the Weight Watchers message boards. Last week was a struggle for me, so I went to the Weight Watchers community for help. It is about using Cognitive Therapy to help lose the weight and keep it off. One of the first things that was mentioned was creating a meal plan, which is exactly what I did yesterday. I guess I was already trying to think like a thin person.
I never realized how exhausting cooking and planning can be. I spent hours doing research on recipes trying to find stuff I would eat and wouldn't kill me in points. Most of the difficulty came from some recipes not having the nutritional info, which prevented me from calculating the points. Once I picked my meals then I had to do the lay out for the week. After that I had to make the grocery list and cook everything. I cooked for about 5hrs last night. What a pain that was! I forgot what it was like to be on my feet for that long. My body was achy all over and I fell asleep around 9pm. I still have a few more things to cook, but they should be fairly easy. Below are pictures of some of the things I made yesterday.
Nut and Fruit Breakfast Bites
Cinnamon Pecan Coffee Cake
Slow Cooker BBQ Pulled Pork
Vanishing Oatmeal Cookies
So far things are going well, but I have my moments. My body is rebelling I think and misses the junk. A few hungry moments won't kill me though. I am really trying to focus on the Weight Watchers good health guidelines. That means I am drinking lots of water. Ugh!
Good Health Guidelines
1. Eat 5 servings of gruit and vegatables each day
2. Choose whole grain foods whenever possible
3. Consume 2 servings of low fat or fat free milk products
4. Have 2 teaspoons of healthy oils
5. Eat 1 or 2 servings of proteins
6. Limit added sugar and alcohol
7. Drink at least 6 8oz glasses of water a day
8. Take a multivitamin a day
I am really trying to stick to a meal plan and eat only what's on the plan until Easter. Of course I had to make sure I allowed myself pizza at least once during my planned meals. Friday Night Pizza!!!! It was hard finding healthy pizza's too. Thanks you Newman's Own and California Pizza Kitchen!!! There were a few other options, but I had coupons for them and Weight Watchers had already calculated the points. The less thinking I have to do to think like a thin person, the better.
I never realized how exhausting cooking and planning can be. I spent hours doing research on recipes trying to find stuff I would eat and wouldn't kill me in points. Most of the difficulty came from some recipes not having the nutritional info, which prevented me from calculating the points. Once I picked my meals then I had to do the lay out for the week. After that I had to make the grocery list and cook everything. I cooked for about 5hrs last night. What a pain that was! I forgot what it was like to be on my feet for that long. My body was achy all over and I fell asleep around 9pm. I still have a few more things to cook, but they should be fairly easy. Below are pictures of some of the things I made yesterday.
So far things are going well, but I have my moments. My body is rebelling I think and misses the junk. A few hungry moments won't kill me though. I am really trying to focus on the Weight Watchers good health guidelines. That means I am drinking lots of water. Ugh!
Good Health Guidelines
1. Eat 5 servings of gruit and vegatables each day
2. Choose whole grain foods whenever possible
3. Consume 2 servings of low fat or fat free milk products
4. Have 2 teaspoons of healthy oils
5. Eat 1 or 2 servings of proteins
6. Limit added sugar and alcohol
7. Drink at least 6 8oz glasses of water a day
8. Take a multivitamin a day
I am really trying to stick to a meal plan and eat only what's on the plan until Easter. Of course I had to make sure I allowed myself pizza at least once during my planned meals. Friday Night Pizza!!!! It was hard finding healthy pizza's too. Thanks you Newman's Own and California Pizza Kitchen!!! There were a few other options, but I had coupons for them and Weight Watchers had already calculated the points. The less thinking I have to do to think like a thin person, the better.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Thank you Jillian!
Well I wanted to lose more, but I guess I will take a 1lb. loss. As long as I can average a 5lb loss each month I will be right on track. I should be super happy considering what I ate this week. On Friday I indulged with two slices of pepperoni pizza from Papa Gino's. Yesterday was the big indulgence. I had a donut from Dunkin Donuts, a bacon cheeseburger and sweet potato fries, and then two yodels. Actually I think a 1lb. loss is pretty good now that I think about it it. Just an fyi, I changed my weigh in date to Monday so look for my blogs on Mondays now.
I feel 50% of any weight I loose is due to the hardcore Jillian Michaels. I said last week that she is in need of her own blog and here it is. If you want a workout you can count on to get results, choose any dvd from Jillian Michaels. You really get a feeling of accomplishment when you feel yourself getting stronger and her workouts getting easier. Here's to you Jillian!
Jillian was not always like this. At the age of 12, she was 5 feet tall and 175lbs. Her mom enrolled her in a martial arts class and that became her focus for herself and other people suffering with weight issues. After she graduated high school, she went to college for a short period of time and then dropped out. While working as a bartender, she was also training for her black belt. People would see her at the gym and just assumed she was a trainer. The rest is history!
I didn't start my Jillian kick until maybe a year ago. At that point I was still trying to go to the gym. The gym couldn't be much closer and yet I still couldn't get the motivation to go there. I came across fitness on demand and there was a special section for Jillian. I had watched her on Biggest Loser and was always amazed at the results she would get. I tried both No More Trouble Zones and Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism. I was hooked!!! It was 40 minutes of serious butt kicking. That is when I decided to get a Netflix subscription. Very good decision on my part. No excuses now why I don't work out. Well the only excuse I do seem to find is being sore from Jillian's work out.
The woman is amazing. She has been creating at least 2 workout DVDs a year since 2005. I am still waiting for Netflix to get the first 2011 DVD. Then she does The Biggest Loser. I did hear she is leaving the show because she wants to adopt a child. She also has another show called Losing it with Jillian. Plus there are books and games for Wii. She amazes me and all the haters need to just be quiet. Not sure why people attack her so much. They obviously don't pay attention to her enough to realize how awesome she is. I just want to give this shout to her and say thank you for being you!!!
I feel 50% of any weight I loose is due to the hardcore Jillian Michaels. I said last week that she is in need of her own blog and here it is. If you want a workout you can count on to get results, choose any dvd from Jillian Michaels. You really get a feeling of accomplishment when you feel yourself getting stronger and her workouts getting easier. Here's to you Jillian!
Jillian was not always like this. At the age of 12, she was 5 feet tall and 175lbs. Her mom enrolled her in a martial arts class and that became her focus for herself and other people suffering with weight issues. After she graduated high school, she went to college for a short period of time and then dropped out. While working as a bartender, she was also training for her black belt. People would see her at the gym and just assumed she was a trainer. The rest is history!
I didn't start my Jillian kick until maybe a year ago. At that point I was still trying to go to the gym. The gym couldn't be much closer and yet I still couldn't get the motivation to go there. I came across fitness on demand and there was a special section for Jillian. I had watched her on Biggest Loser and was always amazed at the results she would get. I tried both No More Trouble Zones and Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism. I was hooked!!! It was 40 minutes of serious butt kicking. That is when I decided to get a Netflix subscription. Very good decision on my part. No excuses now why I don't work out. Well the only excuse I do seem to find is being sore from Jillian's work out.
The woman is amazing. She has been creating at least 2 workout DVDs a year since 2005. I am still waiting for Netflix to get the first 2011 DVD. Then she does The Biggest Loser. I did hear she is leaving the show because she wants to adopt a child. She also has another show called Losing it with Jillian. Plus there are books and games for Wii. She amazes me and all the haters need to just be quiet. Not sure why people attack her so much. They obviously don't pay attention to her enough to realize how awesome she is. I just want to give this shout to her and say thank you for being you!!!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Fear
Well this is my second blog and I decided to make it about my fears. I didn't lose any weight this week and thought it would do me good to really open up about myself. Maybe gain some perspective in the process which is really what the blog is all about for me. The bottom line is that I really need to increase my game. If I don't get uncomfortable then nothing will ever change!
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." Eleanor Roosevelt
I have known for years now that I am afraid of failing. I have tried losing weight many times and have only been successful a few times. You may know that sometimes I can be a bit of a perfectionist. In my mind I think I am only going to fail so why bother even trying. Not sure exactly where this fear came from, but I have some ideas. There were certain teachers in high school that loved making dumb blond jokes. Most of the time I ignored these jokes from kids my own age, but from the teachers I couldn't. I decided to push myself harder to prove I am not a dumb blond. Another class I had wasn't about me being blond it was about me being the only girl. I took a computer graphics course in high school and was the only girl in the class. Major focus on me then! Since I had all this attention I had to push myself to not fail. I can be a bit competitive which is why I don't get involved in a lot of games, sports, etc. I don't want to look foolish and have people make fun of me. If I can't be the best, I just don't bother trying. I realize now that fear of failing has made me miss out on fun times with friends and family along with interfering with my weight and health.
To contradict my fear of failing is my fear of succeeding. This is where my OCD comes into play. Some of you know that when I get something in my head I sort of get a little nutty and don't stop until the task is complete. I have a tendency to always be obsessing about something. Well it recently came to me that maybe I am afraid to actual lose the weight because then what will happen. What will be my next focus? I mean the wedding is done and the house is redecorated. Now what? What would I do with all that free space in my head? Needless to say this obsession thing that I have has stressed me out numerous times and probably drove a lot of people crazy. My apologies for that and I am going to try to keep it better under control.
Now for my newest realized fear. I have a fear of abandonment. This is I think is my underlining fear that causes me to eat stuff I shouldn't which then brings into play my other fears. For as long as I can remember, I have always tried to be good to my friends. However, for whatever reason they would stop being my friends. Maybe I wasn't cool enough. Maybe they got a boyfriend. No matter what the reason was they wouldn't stay around very long. This lead me to put up a wall to protect myself. I stopped trying to get close to people because I thought they would just leave. I never felt good enough to really open up and be myself. A lot of times I would be the one to push people away so I could be the one leaving not the other way around. I really noticed this problem with Jeremy. I was constantly afraid of him finding someone better and leaving me. It took me years to truly feel comfortable about being myself around him. I just never felt good enough. Things didn't change until he finally proposed and then it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
These fears all contributed to my weight problem. One would think that now that I know what got me here that it would be easy to change it. I am betting some of those people have never had a weight problem. As much as I would like to get the weight off quickly, its really impossible to retrain my brain that fast. Imagine trying to learn a different way to tie your shoes or brush your teeth. Learning a different way to look at food is the same thing for those of us with weight problems. I think right not the easiest thing for me would be to increase my workouts. If I am consistent, I have no doubt, especially working out to Jillian Michaels, that I can do this. That lady is definitely due her on blog. See ya next week!
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." Eleanor Roosevelt
I have known for years now that I am afraid of failing. I have tried losing weight many times and have only been successful a few times. You may know that sometimes I can be a bit of a perfectionist. In my mind I think I am only going to fail so why bother even trying. Not sure exactly where this fear came from, but I have some ideas. There were certain teachers in high school that loved making dumb blond jokes. Most of the time I ignored these jokes from kids my own age, but from the teachers I couldn't. I decided to push myself harder to prove I am not a dumb blond. Another class I had wasn't about me being blond it was about me being the only girl. I took a computer graphics course in high school and was the only girl in the class. Major focus on me then! Since I had all this attention I had to push myself to not fail. I can be a bit competitive which is why I don't get involved in a lot of games, sports, etc. I don't want to look foolish and have people make fun of me. If I can't be the best, I just don't bother trying. I realize now that fear of failing has made me miss out on fun times with friends and family along with interfering with my weight and health.
To contradict my fear of failing is my fear of succeeding. This is where my OCD comes into play. Some of you know that when I get something in my head I sort of get a little nutty and don't stop until the task is complete. I have a tendency to always be obsessing about something. Well it recently came to me that maybe I am afraid to actual lose the weight because then what will happen. What will be my next focus? I mean the wedding is done and the house is redecorated. Now what? What would I do with all that free space in my head? Needless to say this obsession thing that I have has stressed me out numerous times and probably drove a lot of people crazy. My apologies for that and I am going to try to keep it better under control.
Now for my newest realized fear. I have a fear of abandonment. This is I think is my underlining fear that causes me to eat stuff I shouldn't which then brings into play my other fears. For as long as I can remember, I have always tried to be good to my friends. However, for whatever reason they would stop being my friends. Maybe I wasn't cool enough. Maybe they got a boyfriend. No matter what the reason was they wouldn't stay around very long. This lead me to put up a wall to protect myself. I stopped trying to get close to people because I thought they would just leave. I never felt good enough to really open up and be myself. A lot of times I would be the one to push people away so I could be the one leaving not the other way around. I really noticed this problem with Jeremy. I was constantly afraid of him finding someone better and leaving me. It took me years to truly feel comfortable about being myself around him. I just never felt good enough. Things didn't change until he finally proposed and then it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
These fears all contributed to my weight problem. One would think that now that I know what got me here that it would be easy to change it. I am betting some of those people have never had a weight problem. As much as I would like to get the weight off quickly, its really impossible to retrain my brain that fast. Imagine trying to learn a different way to tie your shoes or brush your teeth. Learning a different way to look at food is the same thing for those of us with weight problems. I think right not the easiest thing for me would be to increase my workouts. If I am consistent, I have no doubt, especially working out to Jillian Michaels, that I can do this. That lady is definitely due her on blog. See ya next week!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Um, how did I get here??????
Time for some reflecting on how I got here.
After college graduation in 1999, I packed on 15lbs in about 2yrs give or take. I guess my freshman 15 came a little late. I did not like this extra weight at all so I started a well known diet program (a blog to come later). I was successful and lost the weight, but it didn't stay off. I believe it came back pretty quickly, but can't really remember.
In 2003, I was having problems in my life and really just lost focus on being healthy. In August of that year, I decided to end an 8yr relationship with my boyfriend. Well that freaked me out. Dating?? At 150lbs??? So I went on another well known diet program and lost the 15lbs. That is when I met Jeremy. I guess after that I gave up trying to stay fit and healthy because I had my man. HE HE HE HE!!!!
In 2005, Jeremy and I decided to move in together. What an emotional trip that was!!! We had our first fights then and boy was I homesick. Not to mention that I was stuck in a dead end job and was still dealing with the death of my beloved dog China. Well I finally decided to change jobs. It was at this new job that I got into my next diet program. I lost the weight again and then around the same time I got fired. I had never been fired before and was completely beside myself. So needless to say I went to food for my comfort. Later on down the road I would come to realize that getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to me.
In 2007, Jeremy and I decided to move to a new location and I got a job a Delahunty Nurseries and Florist. Which I still love to this day!!! During that winter, I fell down my back stairs while I was putting Gracie out. I didn't think much of it and just dealt with it over a few months, but then the pain got worse. It basically hurt to move so I did as little physical activity as possible. Then I started have sciatic pain and the doctors realized I had a slipped disk that was causing nerve damage in my left leg. After months of being inactive, I had increased my weight to 200lbs before I went in for my surgery. I was told at that time that I needed to lose weight or I was going to end up in a wheel chair. Well that was it for me. It was a little bit of a struggle to get the ball rolling, but once it did the weight came off easily. My goal was to keep going and lose another 35lbs, but I didn't know at that point what lied ahead for me. Now what I didn't mention is that during everything that had been going on, I had been experiencing random episodes of being violently ill. They would last until my stomach was empty and then I felt better. I just chalked it up to being a fluke thing and would forget about it until the next incident.
The beginning of 2009 was great. Jeremy and I went on a wonderful vacation and I was focused on losing weight when we got back. However, not long after we got back I had 3 people die within a few weeks of each other. I lost it. I decided to really indulge on junk. This giant indulgence caused another episode of being violently ill. Turns out I had gallstones. So lets have another operation. I could never seem to get back on track after that. And then my aunt/godmother lost her battle with breast cancer at the end of 2009. That year was a total bust. I didn't gain though so at least I had that going for me.
After a year of hell.....well 2010 can only be better, right? Better is an understatement. Jeremy and I went on a wonderful trip to Costa Rica. This is where Jeremy proposed. Great now lets have a year long engagement and I can lose the rest of the weight. Wrong!!! My new dear sister-in-law wanted to go into the Peace Corps. I would never get married without her so we decided to get married in 9 months before she left. Plan a wedding and lose 35lbs in 9 months. Well that's just crazy talk. It didn't happen and I ended up staying about the same weight for another year. But now its 2011, and there are no more excuses. I know why I am here. I know what my problems were. I went through dead end job after dead end job. Well that's fixed now. My fears (another blog for another day) have all been realized and I am ready to conquer them. It's time to finish this once and for all!!!!!!
After college graduation in 1999, I packed on 15lbs in about 2yrs give or take. I guess my freshman 15 came a little late. I did not like this extra weight at all so I started a well known diet program (a blog to come later). I was successful and lost the weight, but it didn't stay off. I believe it came back pretty quickly, but can't really remember.
In 2003, I was having problems in my life and really just lost focus on being healthy. In August of that year, I decided to end an 8yr relationship with my boyfriend. Well that freaked me out. Dating?? At 150lbs??? So I went on another well known diet program and lost the 15lbs. That is when I met Jeremy. I guess after that I gave up trying to stay fit and healthy because I had my man. HE HE HE HE!!!!
In 2005, Jeremy and I decided to move in together. What an emotional trip that was!!! We had our first fights then and boy was I homesick. Not to mention that I was stuck in a dead end job and was still dealing with the death of my beloved dog China. Well I finally decided to change jobs. It was at this new job that I got into my next diet program. I lost the weight again and then around the same time I got fired. I had never been fired before and was completely beside myself. So needless to say I went to food for my comfort. Later on down the road I would come to realize that getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to me.
In 2007, Jeremy and I decided to move to a new location and I got a job a Delahunty Nurseries and Florist. Which I still love to this day!!! During that winter, I fell down my back stairs while I was putting Gracie out. I didn't think much of it and just dealt with it over a few months, but then the pain got worse. It basically hurt to move so I did as little physical activity as possible. Then I started have sciatic pain and the doctors realized I had a slipped disk that was causing nerve damage in my left leg. After months of being inactive, I had increased my weight to 200lbs before I went in for my surgery. I was told at that time that I needed to lose weight or I was going to end up in a wheel chair. Well that was it for me. It was a little bit of a struggle to get the ball rolling, but once it did the weight came off easily. My goal was to keep going and lose another 35lbs, but I didn't know at that point what lied ahead for me. Now what I didn't mention is that during everything that had been going on, I had been experiencing random episodes of being violently ill. They would last until my stomach was empty and then I felt better. I just chalked it up to being a fluke thing and would forget about it until the next incident.
The beginning of 2009 was great. Jeremy and I went on a wonderful vacation and I was focused on losing weight when we got back. However, not long after we got back I had 3 people die within a few weeks of each other. I lost it. I decided to really indulge on junk. This giant indulgence caused another episode of being violently ill. Turns out I had gallstones. So lets have another operation. I could never seem to get back on track after that. And then my aunt/godmother lost her battle with breast cancer at the end of 2009. That year was a total bust. I didn't gain though so at least I had that going for me.
After a year of hell.....well 2010 can only be better, right? Better is an understatement. Jeremy and I went on a wonderful trip to Costa Rica. This is where Jeremy proposed. Great now lets have a year long engagement and I can lose the rest of the weight. Wrong!!! My new dear sister-in-law wanted to go into the Peace Corps. I would never get married without her so we decided to get married in 9 months before she left. Plan a wedding and lose 35lbs in 9 months. Well that's just crazy talk. It didn't happen and I ended up staying about the same weight for another year. But now its 2011, and there are no more excuses. I know why I am here. I know what my problems were. I went through dead end job after dead end job. Well that's fixed now. My fears (another blog for another day) have all been realized and I am ready to conquer them. It's time to finish this once and for all!!!!!!
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